this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize