Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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