I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
