Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
