help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
