I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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