I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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