My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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