I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
