Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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