you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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