Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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