Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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