I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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