the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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