if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
