Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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