There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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