franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have fence marks all over my body
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You ruined the universe
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
