trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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