Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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