I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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