he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
