Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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