So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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