I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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