Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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