When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize