Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize