I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
