Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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