Whod you bang
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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