At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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