I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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