i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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