who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
