so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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