I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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