his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love having hate sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
