Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
