He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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