He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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