Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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