Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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