I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I believe in your delicious
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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