fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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