i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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