I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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