guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
