I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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