her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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