Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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