I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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