i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
