Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
