spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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