I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
