what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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