Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
