Buhtt sex?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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